Kansas writer

Debra Guiou Stufflebean

Plucky old Gal

I'm blind as a bat without my glasses, but like a bat I have sonar capability. I'm walking my dogs when it became apparent that a mosquito got trapped behind my glasses. I removed them, put four dog leashes in one hand and proceed to beat myself in the face with the other hand. Geez the mosquitos are bad this year! I sprayed my arms and legs so I guess I only have myself to blame for the facial attack. I'm pretty sure that I killed the bugger but the match was a draw since I now have a big mosquito bite under one eye. My eyesight has progressively gotten worse the older that I get. I grumble about it every day because after I scan my chin area in the mirror for unwanted chin whiskers, I have to remove my glasses to pluck the unwanted hairs under the eyebrow. I don't know how many X-magnification that my vanity mirror is but it's the maximum. I just wonder, at what point do most women just give up on plucking their faces? And then mascara goes out the window too. I called one of my daughters so excited the other day because an online ad for fake eyelashes popped on my laptop screen - $50 a pair BUT they were magnetic! No mascara or glue necessary, just position an eyelash strip on top of your own eyelash and underneath your lash and click! The two fakes would stay in place sandwiched around your regular lashes. She said, "Mom, I'm pretty sure you can get those for $10 at Walmart, but let me know how they work out." Well I couldn't SEE to put them on, let alone position them correctly and there is no way that you can wear your bifocals and do that! I thought about using tweezers because I'm a pretty good plucker, but that didn't work either. Even if the tweezer holds the top one, you have to see to position the other lash directly under it or they'll click and then you've got something that looks like a caterpillar crawling towards your nose. I give up! My hats off to you ladies who have the eyesight to continue to wear eye make-up but I fear my time doing so is running short. I'm leaving instructions, however, for my daughter/granddaughter whichever finds time to visit me in the nursing home, to rub my chin and pluck any unwanted whiskers. I am grateful that the same French genes that make me so hairy are the same ones that keep my hair dark so at least I'm not a slave to getting my hair colored!

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